My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Say something about gay babies.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
