I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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