and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
