you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
