we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize