..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
