What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
