omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize