Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
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