Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I am puke
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
