hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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