I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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