I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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