i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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