She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
