So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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