Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I intend to get homeless drunk
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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