are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
