Is it normal to miss your booty call?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
