she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i out mim tonsoeep
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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