so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
