Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
