And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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