On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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