but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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