so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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