I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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