i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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