Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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