I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
