Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
