Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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