Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
