I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
