Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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