i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
