last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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