first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
