Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize