Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
