My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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