There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize