just tell him i said nine months
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
