If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
