Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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