Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
