I want to walk on stilts...naked
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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