You're so nebulous sometimes
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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