her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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