im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
