Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
