why didn't you poke me back
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
