wakey wakey hands off snakey
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
