So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I touched a dick in church today
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
