I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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