I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
