hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
