then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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