Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
