What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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