he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
