Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
birth control should be required to get into college
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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