Whats the glycemic index on semen?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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