My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
