he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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