Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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