We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
