He had one of those small greek statue penises
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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