You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
