it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize