talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
