Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
im six kinds of drunk right now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
