He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
