i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
false alarm, still single
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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