I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
