i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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