He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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