I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the day after is always just damage control
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
