I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize