I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
